Bosom Bubuddies



 So did I meet the friends I made during the rally again?  Not only did I see them, but over the last few months. we also went on a couple of outings together. I dedicate this post to half of the dance crew whom I'm still in touch with.

   I will start off with the bubuddy who is responsible for all of us still being in contact. The person who created the Whatsapp group that bridged the gap between us and brought us even closer than we were during the one month of rehearsals. By now you would have made out who it is of you have read my last blog-post. Yes, the very spunky and petite Apoorva a.k.a. Appamma a.k.a. Appu. Don't go by her size and her innocent looks. After all, looks can be deceiving. Being a true blue Cancerian, she never shies away from calling a spade a spade. She is a refreshing change from some of my colleagues who indulge in backbiting and childish gossiping. She has the guts to say things to my face which sets her apart from others. Not to mention I'm as straightforward with her, if not more. Give her a pen and she will display her artistic skills on her palms. It is these childlike qualities that made her colleagues nickname her 'Baby'. My day in the office is incomplete without tormenting her. We invariably end up fighting almost every day. Just the other day she told me that she hated me from the bottom of her heart. How sweet. I used to get very embarrassed every time she called me 'donkey'. Now you might be wondering why anyone would call someone as intelligent and intellectual as me a 'donkey'. She tells me the name suits me because of the hoity-toity and pompous person I am. Now how I can be more humble and modest than I already am is beyond me *winks*. However much I fight with her, deep inside, I know that she is a good person and  I will always like her for that.

  Moving on to Appamma's BFF, Deepa a.k.a. Bujji. She is a woman in love, madly in love. With whom you ask? With herself, of course. The camera loves her and it shows in all her photos. Well, she didn't win the CKT Award for the most photogenic person for nothing. Once the camera is on, her smile gives way to the constantly vexed face. She loves to be clicked and this was one thing I learned about her during both the outings we've had. Speaking of outings, none of the bubuddies show the kind of enthusiasm that she shows for outdoor trips. During our Wonderla rides, the decibels her voice reached were far higher than how high we were above the ground. It wasn't until very recently that I discovered that she is a budding poetess and has an eye for business. Initially, our favorite pastime used to be teasing her about Sweat guy which was put to an end by her very protective BFF, Vijay. Vijay a.k.a. Tiger a.k.a. Himesh is one of the most fun-loving guys I've ever come across. He is full of life and vitality. That baritone and vocal skills of his bear testament to his proclivity towards music. I wonder where he got his proficiency in pure Hindi from. Though our friendship went through a rough patch a few months ago, I felt immeasurably relieved when we sorted out the misunderstandings and buried the hatchet. His gregarious and free-spirited personality has made him very popular among the bubuddies. He is the kind of loyal and caring friend everyone must have.

   Then there is the dance coordinator, Chandana a.k.a. Biker Chandu. Cycling being her first love, she was inconsolable when she her bicycle got stolen. She is Miss Congeniality. Everybody loves her. I was very amused when I got to know her name. Every time our choreographer mixed up our names, it evoked laughter in the recreation room. To make the confusion worse, we share the pet-name 'Chandu'. It's always nice to have cheerful people in your life. I've never seen her lose her temper or patience in the most trying situations. That shows the immense mental strength she possesses. I hope she remains that way and stops making fun of my white belt. I have no clue what it is about my white belt that fascinates her… so much so that she wants me to wear it to the office every day! The celebrity of the group; her acting chops were there for everyone to see in the short film she played the lead role in. She is even supposed to start shooting for a music album soon. Chandana's extremely close bubuddy, Priyadarshini, a.k.a. Periyamma, a.k.a. Dimpu is someone with a hard exterior, but behind that facade is a delicate, emotional girl who would take a bullet for her family and friends. If you want to remain in her good books, be very careful of what you say to her as she can get a little sensitive at times. In the one month I sat next to her, I never felt I was working. I remember guffawing frantically and uncontrollably for so long with her once that everyone around us thought that we had completely lost it. I would make her record her punchlines in her famously broken and heavily accented Hindi and she would make me record funny videos which on sharing on the group would get tremendous response. Albeit a tomboy, on some level is also a very feminine girl who giggles at the drop of a hat and scares easy. Doing her impressions was one of the things I enjoyed and entertained my fellow bubuddies with.

  I wouldn't have shared the camaraderie I do today with the bubuddies if it weren't for one person. And that is Naidu, a.k.a. Poli. The first time all of us bonded was when he came up with the idea of playing dumb charades on the final day of rehearsals, also the antakshari that I've mentioned in the previous post which helped us connect further. If it weren't for him, I doubt I would have cared much about the dance crew let alone writing this post at the break of dawn. He was the sole person instrumental in bringing together all of us and I shall be ever so grateful to him for that. In short, he helped us buddy up (or bubuddy up) with each other. Being the entertainer that he is, he has everyone in splits the moment he starts talking. The catchphrases he frequently uses while texting are, "Morning :)", "Wao nice nice" and "k k kool kool". His courage is something that needs to be lauded. Whether it is facing his team leader or getting on the high thrill rides of Wonderla, he does it all like a valorous lion *coughs incessantly*. I think I need to get my Benadryl before the cough gets any worse. Naidu's former college-mates are no less hilarious than he is. Sonam is a chirpy girl who always has the funniest stories to narrate; most of which involve outsmarting her austere parents. One such incident even happened when we were on our way back home from Wonderla. Sorry I can't give out the details here but I sure had a good laugh about it. She is a delight to talk to. The airy persiflage her and Naidu engage in is nothing short of hysterical.

  Naidu's other ex-college mate, Siri a.k.a. Sirius a.k.a. Siri doll a.k.a. Siri Chilli a.k.a. Siridevi a.k.a. Maya a.k.a. Pooytya (whew!) is by far the wittiest woman I know. Her side-splitting one liners never fail to make me roll with laughter. The dynamic between her and Naidu is very amusing. She never misses a chance to take the mickey out of him. She is without a shadow of doubt, the best dancer of the lot. Her crystal clear and crisp dance moves had me believe that she was a trained professional, but I was bewildered to learn otherwise. With some people, you just meet them a few times, yet they manage to leave a lasting impression on you. Siri is one such person. When she speaks, she speaks sense. Since she is spiritual, you get to learn a lot by just listening to her. We hit it off from the word go, as we are on the same wavelength and intellectual level.  Before I met her, I thought I was the only freak who chided friends for their misspellings. Apart from having misspelled words as a common pet peeve, we also share the same interest for TV shows.

  There was this one incident that took place during one of the practice sessions that has stayed with me till this day. I was dancing crazily as always and hadn't realized that Siri was standing right behind me. I accidentally poked her in the eye and she let out a bloodcurdling shriek! I flipped out and apologized profusely for my recklessness. I expected her to throw a fit and yell at me for not being more careful. But she just rubbed her eye, surprised me by regaining her composure in no time and assured me with a smile that she was fine. Needless to say, not only was I immensely relieved, but I was also mighty impressed with the grace and dignity she possessed in that moment. I saw brief glimpses of perfectionism in her every time she urged her group members to come for the rehearsals a couple of hours earlier than the stipulated time in order to perfect their moves. She was always appreciative of any constructive criticism that she or her group received for their dance and took them very seriously. I'm taken back to a day when the two of us were having an exchange of opinions and suggestions on each other's team's performances. She intently listened to my feedback, remembered them, and the very next day, she made everyone on her group work on the points I had mentioned to her. Her leadership qualities were further revealed the day our choreographer was on leave. She took charge of the entire team and pushed everyone to do better. When everyone else was goofing around, she would be sitting in a corner, focusing all her energy into healing injured people through Reiki (injuries were quite common during the rehearsals), thereby showing real altruism and benevolence. Besides healing injured people, she also has a side to her that is philanthropic. She has devoted time to the humanitarian cause of writing exams for the visually impaired.  

    She was a revelation on the dance floor; her stamina has to be seen to be believed. It was a treat to watch her shed all her inhibitions and dance vigorously with the same energy from the beginning to the very culmination while the rest of us were so exhausted by the end that we could hardly move  our bodies. What bowled me over though, were her profound and complex poems that belied her years. To top it all, she is easy on the eye and as cute as a button, just like her name, which in Norwegian means "beautiful woman who leads you to victory." She is also a violinist, but unfortunately I have not had the privilege of listening to her play it yet. Despite everything that she is, she remains a humble, down to earth girl at heart and a true paragon of virtue. In a world that lives in constant fear of being judged, it's refreshing to know someone who is so forthcoming about their shortcomings. It was her who coined the name 'Bubuddies' for the group. I'll save the story behind the origin of that name for some other day.

   We were able to relive the rally thanks to the wonderful photos taken by our photographer, Bharath a.k.a. Musician. Though usually he is a very calm and composed guy, I was left open-mouthed when I saw him blow his top and give Naveen a piece of his mind, sending the message loud and clear that he wouldn't let anyone walk over him.

   On our way back from Wonderla, little did I know that I would be getting on to another high-thrill ride. The cold wind slapped my ears as he rode his bike at 110 km/h. Not wanting to sound like a chicken heart, I refrained from asking him to go slow. We spotted a wrecked car on the highway, lying there like a fallen warrior who fought until his last breath. It didn't help that he kept narrating stories of his friends who died due to rash riding, which further sent chills down my spine. That was it. I put my foot down and told him to slow down. We were lucky enough to make it back in one piece. Nevertheless, he is a warm, laid-back and down to earth guy who is very easy to talk to.

   Nisha, a.k.a., Manager; marvelling at the moon with Appamma and wishing everyone ‘good morning’ is the only time we see her messages on the group. To me, she has always been an intriguing enigma, a sweet girl with an even sweeter voice. The tact and affability with which she converses with people is particularly noteworthy. I recall her telling us one day that she was going to be on a cookery show. I eagerly turned on the TV to get a glimpse of her culinary skills only find her on the show, a good twenty minutes later to taste the food her friend had cooked. If it wasn't for the masterstroke of an idea she gave Appu to create the Whatsapp group, we would have missed out on all the madness that has surrounded and submerged us in the last six months. 

   Another vital member of the group is Srikanth, a.k.a. Elastic, I discovered why he was nicknamed so when I saw him dancing like he had no bones in his body, so flexible!  He has a body that models would kill for. Forwarding jokes and wishing 'Good morning', 'Good evening' and 'Good night' serve his main purpose on the group. Though he is known for penning pulpy poems, I’m yet to figure out why he calls himself ‘a dead writer’.

    Five years down the line, I don't know if I would still be in touch with all of them or if we would have gone our separate ways and drifted apart. What I do know is that they have managed to create a special place in my heart and every time I think about each one of them, I will have a big wide smile on my face.

Rallying Around

     "Asatoma sadgamaya!" The song started blaring through the loud speakers and my heart thumped like a series of earthquake inside of my chest. Standing backstage and biting my nails, I was a bundle of nerves. "Oh my God! I'm freaking out!" "Relax, Chandan. You'll do just fine", came the words of comfort from Shilpa as she gave me an assuring smile. After I pulled the knots of the shiny green chadra I was wearing and pressed my turban to make sure it wasn't going to fall, I realised the kerchief tied to the middle finger *cough* of my left hand was hanging loose. "Snehal, could you please untie this and tie it properly? It could come off any minute!" She was kind enough to help, but not before she rolled her eyes in annoyance. The much dreaded and anticipated moment had arrived! I knew two of the most memorable minutes of my life were here. This was it! I had to give it my best because it was the last time! Strangely, I had started getting skeptical about myself the very same day.

  Just a few hours ago, I was sitting in the cab, day dreaming and fantasizing about our performance. A month's hard work and pain was about to pay off. I was so high strung that I was hardly talking to anyone. I was looking out of the window, twiddling my thumbs when the dance coordinator, the ever cheerful- Chandana started pulling my leg. I turned a shade of scarlet. To make it worse, Naidu, Rajesh, Shashidhar & Sindhu started teasing me about Snehal - the girl everyone was scared of. Everyone except me of course. They dared me to call her up and tell her we were reaching her pick up point in five minutes. When in reality, we were at least 25 minutes away from reaching there. I had to prove I wasn't scared of her. I called her up and everyone gaped in astonishment. "She is going to kill you when she realises you lied to her!" said Shashidhar the moment I hung up the phone, shaking his head alarmingly. Was I scared now? Not at all. Okay, may be a little. After I suffered another twenty minutes of ridicule and derision, we spotted Snehal standing at the bus stop. She looked like a tigress who would feast on anyone who came her way. Seeing the look on her face, the hustle and bustle of the cab came to a halt. The silence was deafening. After a while, Naidu - the entertainer of the group came up with the idea of playing Antakshari. Although reluctant at first, I joined in when I saw my team was losing to Snehal's team and I definitely did not want to lose to her. The commotion in the cab was so high that onlookers couldn't stop staring and grinning at us, especially at Vijay a.k.a. Himesh Reshammiya as Priya fondly calls him because he knows each and every song of Himesh's and mostly sings only his songs. After screaming our lungs out for almost an hour, we reached the venue.

  I had almost completely forgotten about the rally. The stress was now back to haunt me. A little exhausted from all the cacophony during the long journey, I thought of relaxing a bit before the final practice started. But as soon as we entered the magnificent hall, before we got the time to digest that this was all actually happening, I saw our choreographer, Keerti Raj getting more hyper than ever, giving instructions to the rest of the dance crew. The practice started without music and on 1-2-3, 1-2-3 instructions from him. Since I was not used to dancing without music and had always used the wordings to remember the steps, I kept messing up the steps. Keerti was hopping mad. All of a sudden, he seemed as scary as my Physics teacher from school. For those of you who don't know him, he was a terror.  There were a couple of more goof-ups with the props as I was rehearsing with them for the first time. So was everyone else, but it was only me who kept forgetting to drop the prop. After I was yelled at a couple of times, the final rehearsal was finally over and we headed for lunch.
   
     Standing in the queue with my head hung down in disappointment, all kinds of negative thoughts started hitting me. But it took me only about a minute to pick myself up and tell myself that I could do it, and do it very well.

  While waiting in the line, I heard a velvety voice say, "Haaai Chandan!" It was Apoorva, the petite and seemingly, I repeat, 'seemingly' sweet girl who is also now called 'Appamma' by yours truly. She was accompanied by Deepa, her BFF and the girl with the dragon tattoo. They smiled warmly at me.

"Are you on Whatsapp?", Apoorva enquired. I nodded. "Great. I'm,creating a Whatsapp group for the dance crew so that we can keep in touch." It was probably the best decision she had made all her life.

  After the lunch, everyone got into their flashy and flamboyant costumes. It was a sight to behold. The men looked dapper and the women as ethereal as ever, though I admit having trouble recognizing some of the girls because of the layers of make up their faces were in covered in.

  Some of us started rehearsing again. Navaneethan, the guy who was to climb on me and wrap his legs around me while I spun, instructed me to do it a little faster. I heeded his advice and spun fast. May be a little too fast. I lost control and ended up falling on top of him while he fell flat on his face. That was scary! Never in the one month we practised had I ever dropped him. The day just kept getting worse. Did all the mistakes have to happen on the final day? What if I messed up on stage? There will be thousands of people watching us and any goof up will be etched in their hearts forever; or at least be talked about a year. I couldn't afford to let that happen. So before we entered the stage, I took every ounce of confidence left in me and told myself that I was going to give it all I've got no matter what. I was never getting this opportunity again. I had to shut up my detractors who laughed at me when I put forward my name for audition. Though they were really taken aback when I had told them I got through the auditions, they assumed I probably didn't have much to dance and would be made to stand in the corner.

  We entered the stage in a queue and now all the eyes were on us. The butterflies fluttering furiously in my stomach were now still. I didn't give a fuck about who was watching me and who was not. My confidence skyrocketed and I felt like I could take on the whole world. We came, we danced and we conquered. We conquered the stage, we conquered the audience. We received a standing ovation. Everything went well.

     There was a great satisfaction, yet a sadness. Sadness that it was over. The rehearsals, the arguments, the laughter, the new friends I had made, the fun.... I was going to miss it all.

  It was time for the DJ dance party after the dinner buffet. As soon as I entered the hall, I saw Siri, Naidu and Vijay letting their hair down on the floor. Later, we were joined by the rest of the dance crew. This was the last time for all of us together. Everyone knew that. All of us danced like there was no tomorrow. It will remain one of the most eventful and unforgettable days of my life. I thought I might never even see most of these friends again. But did I see them? Or was it all actually over like I had thought it to be?

                                                                                                            To be continued.......

How 'Social' are you?

   Nearly 3 years ago, I jumped into the social networking bandwagon out of sheer curiosity. I wanted to know what all the fuss was all about. Since then, I've been hooked on and how! For someone who never understood how orkut had the whole nation was bitten by the social networking bug, I surprised myself by getting so addicted to facebook and twitter that I hardly had time for other hobbies.

  Initially, I was too gauche in my conversations ; it took a while to get the hang of these sites, to learn to differentiate between the face to face conversations and the conversations which everyone in your friend list could read. I feel hugely embarrassed when I go through my really old comments & status updates. From being showered with messages every hour to every message going unnoticed, from unfriending to being unfriended, from blocking to being blocked and sending requests to the people whom I unfriended, from a message that completely altered the next six months of my life to the comments that made me laugh, cringe, sad, furious; I've seen it all.

  People whom I hardly interacted with in school became my closest fb buddies whereas the closest pals kept drifting away. Monitoring my then girlfriend's moves, stalking my high-school crush's photos had become my favorite pastime. Facebook for me is all about give and take; you like my status/photos, I'll like yours. Pulling each others' legs, making sarcastic remarks and ludicrous altercations were no less amusing than watching a high octane drama.

  Following influential people, interacting and debating with eminent journalists, professionals, armchair activists on twitter restricted me from saying things that were remotely chauvinistic, racist, misogynic, ageist or homophobic. All my feelings of repugnance and aversion towards the LGBT community because my ignorance and sheer conservatism were replaced by respect and sympathy for them who get unfair treatment in this country to this date. How even today the chauvinistic attitude of our society is evident in the very fact that children in school are still taught that the father is the 'head' of the family and not the mother.

 On twitter, I made some really all kinds of friends - funny, weird, bitchy, agressive, gossippy, intelligent, naive etc. Some of these friends are nicer than the so called 'friends' I have in real life. Not to mention that I made some enemies and some friends turned into foes. I enjoy twitter the most whenever I get to kick a troll's ass. I remember giving a troll such a tough time that he changed his colours and turned treacly sweet towards me .

 Whatever leisure time I used to have is now occupied by facebooking and twittering but the real life is so mundane and dull that the 1-2 hours of my trip to the virtual world everyday is my escape from the stress, complications and troubles of the real world to find some relief by having interesting conversations or reading funny stuff which actually is a huge stressbuster. Interacting with people or reading what they have to say makes you feel much better when you are utterly downcast. In my opinion, it's more entertaining than TV which is only a one way communication.

 As enlightening and entertaining these sites are, they can be equally dangerous if not handled properly. You may find it hard to believe, but I made one of the biggest blunders of my life on Facebook. An aquaintance once accused me of being a social media addict. I don't mind that. I guess it is alright for a teetotaller like me who is not addicted to anything to be infatuated with the new revolution that is social networking. If you're not on any of these sites, I assume you live in a cave.

Religious Atrocities

   It's 3 in the morning and all I'm doing is shutting my ears to save myself from the unbearably loud mantras/shlokas being recited by an elderly woman in the temple next to my lodge. I understand the religious sentiments of people who like getting up early in the dawn and praying to the deities. But why do they have to disturb other folks who are peacefully sleeping like logs? How did these bigots manage in the days when there were no microphones or loudspeakers? Haven't their religious teachings taught them to live and let live?

 In my 5 years of stay at Attukal, Trivandrum, almost every student I knew there complained how it was extremely difficult it is for them to concentrate on their studies because of the blaring speakers during the month of march due to Attukal Pongala. They install loudspeakers in front of almost every house in Attukal and play mallu film songs (Yes! Film songs and NOT devotional songs) in the name of God. Does God really ask these temple people to disrupt the Annual/Board exam preparations of the poor students?

  Luckily for me, I could shift to CRPF campus every march just before the final exams commenced. But what about other kids who are still silently suffering from all the noise pollution just on the previous day of their exams? I had experienced it once and the frustration and torture I went through was unbearable. The distraction was even more difficult to resist when they played my favorite tracks.  The response of parents when we ask them to take an action against such cruelty is appalling, 'How can we ask them to take out the speakers when nobody has any problem with it? You are not the only student here with exams. There are other kids who are studying (suffering). After all it is for the God.' I wonder if God asked the temple authorities to play ear-splitting filmy music and cause such nuisance.

  Some of you may accuse me of blasphemy but I've never been a religious person. I have never liked visiting temples, though I liked going to church/temple sometimes to ogle at my crush. I remember telling my mom I wouldn't mind changing my religion because I am a non-believer. Mother would give me a cold stare and preach me on how it is essential for every human being to be blessed by God to have happiness in life. I don't believe in the myth that God will be pleased with you only if you go to temples and shrines and beg them for what you want. Even terrorists and criminals pray, but in the end karma teaches everyone their lessons regardless of whether they worship God or not. Having humanity and kindness is matters more than being religious. Here are some of my favorite atheist quotes :

 
"An Atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An atheist believes that deed must be done instead of prayer said. An atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanished, war eliminated.  "
                                        
     - Madalyn Murray O'Hair 

 "I brought this case because I am an atheist and this offends me, and I have the right to bring up my daughter without God being imposed into her life by her schoolteachers."
        
      - Michael Newdow 


"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own"

  "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

       - Emo Philips

"So you really think that God would plant a bunch of bones in the earth to test your faith? Either you're in denial or God has some serious self-esteem issues."

       -Coral Yoshi

"You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep-seated need to believe."

           -Carl Sagan 
 
 

Movie Review - The Woman in Black


 The movie belongs to the genre of the horror movies of the 60s, where there is haunted mansion, paranormal activities,  candles, graves and a incessantly barking dog. Daniel Radcliffe plays the role of Arthur Kipps, a father whose wife passes away during the the birth of  their son. He sees a mysterious woman in black who keeps appearing and disappearing out of nowhere. The children of the village are made to commit suicide by the woman in black as a revenge for her own child being taken away from her in the past. Arthur refuses to believe the villagers and rubbishes them as their superstitions until he goes to the mansion which is forbidden by the villagers and experiences paranormal activities. The film revolves around Arthur's spine chilling encounters with the ghost and his discoveries about the past of the people who once existed in the haunted mansion.

  In his first outing after the Harry Potter series, Daniel Radcliffe gives a tour de force performance and is convincing as a widowed lawyer. Albeit too young to play a father, Radcliffe brings a certain amount of maturity and credibility to his role despite his approach to the character remaining the same as Harry's.  The streak of similarity between the character of Harry and Arthur is in their courage and curiosity. As someone who has seen all the Potter movies umpteen times, I missed watching the Emma Watson and Rupert Grint alongside Daniel Radcliffe.

   The woman in black remains a mystery and nothing about her past is revealed  except when she is captured in an old photograph that was probably taken centuries ago. The plot could have been more intriguing if the writers gave us some background about the woman in and how her child was taken away from her. A continuity issue occurs when a clean shaven Radcliffe is seen with a stubble in the very next shot. Kudos to the sound effects team for upping the horror quotient.  The breaking of the eerie silence with a deafening screech or the clatter of toys makes one flinch sporadically. The scene where Arthur is almost drowned in the swamp is one of  the striking scenes in the film and is well executed. The movie may have a hackneyed plot with a cliched ending, but it still manages to keep you at the edge of your seat throughout the film. Although the movie is ho-hum in the first half, it picks up tremendous pace towards the intermission. The predictability and the slow pace is a tad bit disappointing. The occasional chills and the impressive screen presence of Daniel Radcliffe makes it an engaging watch. Go for it only if you don't mind watching run of the mill horror movies and like Daniel Radcliffe.

Rating : **

Wherefore art thou, my Valentine?

Another Valentine's day has passed and I'm still single. It's that day of the year when I'm reminded how much being single, being alone sucks! While couples all over the the world go on dates, shower each other with gifts, here I sit alone in my room, blogging about it.

When I'm in a big city, guys constantly ask annoying questions like, 'You're single?' with such sympathy and concern. 'Really?You have no sex life? That must suck! Don't worry, you will find someone. Just be on the look out.' As if being single means being worthless and something to be looked down on. It has sort of become obligatory to be in a relationship even when they don't love each other just to show off their boyfriends/girlfriends. Other unnecessary questions involve, 'How many girls have you been with?' If your answer is less than 3, the response from the guys would be, 'That less? Come on dude, you gotta up your game'. However, the lesser number of ex-girlfriends you have had, the more impressed girls will be. If your answer is 'none', be prepared for the mundane question, 'Are you gay?'

 Contrary to those folks who nag me with uncomfortable and personal questions, there are others (the small town peeps) who exclaim in shock, 'What! You are in a relationship! You had sex?', as if I have committed a loathsome crime. Especially for girls, I've seen them being categorized as 'characterless' if they choose to be in a relationship or engage in pre-marital sex. Such backward, orthodox beliefs are mostly the products of their conservative background. These sort of pervasive thoughts lead to prejudicial fallacies which impede the growth of a modern society.

  What I would really like to ask these judgmental and narrow minded people is to grow up and mind their own business. Your being in a relationship or being single does not measure your value or worth. And for the Judgy Judgersons out there, being in love, losing virginity is one's own choice and it does not make them any less of a good human being.  Well, as for me, just when I was starting to think it was the end of the world for me and I would never find someone again, I fell in love again. My heart skips a beat every time I see her. Could she be the one? Or is it someone else for me?  You never know, she could be reading this post right now! Hopefully, I'll be celebrating Valentines day with her next year.

My first Love Story!


  For someone who cringes every time mallu music blares out of the loudspeakers during the festival season, I enjoyed listening to a mallu song they played this evening which took me back to my childhood.

 It was 1996. I was beaten up by Girija madam for the nth time for getting into a brawl  (I was the only good boy in a class full of monsters). "You look innocent, but you're pure evil." Almost everyone I know has told me that at some point. Well, my answer to those people is that if they are deceived by my looks or my taciturn nature there is pretty much nothing I can do about it. She made me change my seat and asked me to go sit with the class monitor. I pretended to be bereaved by madam's "punishment", but deep inside, my happiness knew no bounds.

 She was the brightest student in the class whose report card was always filled only with 'A+'s. I promised myself to never get into trouble again just so I could sit with her for the rest of the year.  I pretended to be grief-stricken while moving with my schoolbag and waterbottle to sit next to Nismi Varghese who was every teacher's pet. There she sat, a dusky, slightly chubby girl with her hair put into pigtails, making unflattering remarks about me to Neenu and giggling with her. Both her hands were full of bangles, long nails painted in red, she smiled bossily at me told me in her husky voice how she was going to turn me into a better human being. Little did she know that it was an impossible task. A few days into sitting with her, being ridiculed by her most of the time, inanely badinaging with each other we became the best of friends. I used to call her chirikudukka for breaking into laughter at the drop of a hat. She told me she laughed so much only because I made her laugh and that I was a joker. 

 After getting promoted to 2nd standard, I was skeptical of not getting to sit with her ever again. We were ushered to our new class by our new class teacher Mrs. Usha Devi. Everyone rushed into the class catching the seats of their choice. I too found a seat which I liked and made myself feel comfortable there. The next thing I realized was that Nismi was following me and she chose to sit next to me. Because of the boys vs. girls thing we always had in our school, I asked her "Why are you stalking me and why couldn't you choose some other place to sit?" She explained how it was her responsibility to look after me and it was Girija madam's order and not her wish. I shot back by saying that it was meant only for last year. "This year you are free to sit anywhere you like." "Well, I am sitting here because I like this place and I'm not going to let you get away so easily from me." "Damn! Just when I thought I was free again!" I smiled stealthily as I turned my face away from her & thought to myself, 'YES!!'.

  The annual day was near and the whole school was busy with the preparations. She was the lead in a group dance, I would peek into the activity room everyday just to watch her dance. I was not too delighted to see her dancing with Meghnath who was holding her in his arms. There was a reason why I loathed that Junior School Pupil Leader who later also went on to become a School Pupil Leader. On the annual day, I watched her dance with him on the same song that I was referring to earlier; my insides were burning like charcoal. Yeah big surprise, I'm possessive.


 Towards the end of the year, she got transferred to another school. She was terribly missed everyday. During that melancholic phase, I wrote and composed a song called 'Why this Kolaveri di' which was plagiarized 15 years later and went on to become the biggest sensation. Yes, I'm fighting a legal battle against Dhanush. After Nismi left, I felt lonelier than ever. I was made to sit with a girl called Swathi Krishna who had a blinking problem. She told me "Charles is the boss of that bench and we have to obey all his commands." I was like 'Wtf?' She supported Charles every time I had an argument with him. Sycophant! She made me miss me Nismi even more. It is true what they say, you never actually get over your first love.

The '12th' hour of my life

How I miss

Forcing myself to laugh at Maddy's torturous PJs.

JUST LIKE THAT being made to stand outside the chemistry lab when forgetting the lab coat.

Getting scolded by Deepa Madam for using browsing the net without permission.

Trying hard to hear to whatever Maya madam spoke in her feeble voice.

Controlling my yawn every time Aryabhatta mentioned anything about Differentiation & Integration.

Finishing the lunch in 5 minutes in order to finish writing the records.

Running hither and thither to the very few people who had whiteners whenever it was the Record submission date

Reaching the school early to just copy the assignment answers from friends

Discussing the question papers after each and every exam

Sulking every time DCK took up our free periods to catch up on the syllabus

Mimicking the teachers (and some students) when they were not around

Hoping for the assembly to be longer so that Maddy's class would be shorter

Getting linked to any 'random girl' and being teased by friends

Witnessing 'some' teachers' amazing teaching capabilities on the Inspection day.

Hiding behind the frontbencher whenever it was my turn to answer the questions.

Rushing out of the class as soon as the bell rang just to catch the window seat of the school bus.

Regular meetings and appointments with the Principal to discuss important matters (Only the lucky ones had the privilege)

Cribbing & whining about the teachers and their homeworks.

Being creative by giving everyone a nickname, even the teachers (though no one dared to call me any)

Collecting money for the school aquarium and spending some of it on drinks.

Being the newsreader for Aryabhatta house almost every month!


Though I mostly hated my school, I have to admit most of what I am is because of that school. Kendriya Vidyalaya Pallipuram really does prepare you to face the world and I can't thank enough.

The Angelic Witch


You led the way when I was lost
Diminished the darkness with your lights
Never thought I would miss you the most
when we had our frivolous fights.

All those nights you burnt your midnight lamp
Working hard like a bee or an ant
Was only to emerge victorious as a champ.
Proud you did me, by being triumphant

Rolling down the cheeks were my tears
the day you topped in your class.
Ripping apart my greatest fears,
You came across as a sassy lass.

You, the dainty daisy from the dawn,
Blooming with a smile on your rosy petals.
Sing, dear nightingale, sing on!
For the voice that won you medals.

Whenever I was in the melancholy
Of a dark, monstrous thunder cloud
You showed me the silver lining that made me jolly.
You, the clown that made me laugh out loud. :P

When I was kissed by a dementor,
You conjured the Patronus charm :P
So dynamic you were as my mentor
Who snatched away all the hurt and harm.

Helped me in my eternal pursuit
of  knowledge and enlightenment
The ethics and values gripped to your root
Reinforced my conviction in your discernment.

Giggle, giggle, you giggled
Your giggle like a donkey's bray
The way we danced and squiggled
For your beatitude I shall pray.

Sparkles bright like a diamond your dreamy eyes
And that heart of gold.
The accolades you walked away with and the prize
Are worth the talent you sold.

You, the fairy from the heaven,
with an elegant wave of your wand
showered happiness and joy on the seven
While reading this, you shouldn't have yawned.
                  
                             *  *  *  *  *  *
Read the poem and answer the following questions:

1. Pick any of the adjectives you would use for the poet.
   a. Handsome b. Hot c. Sexy d. All of the above

2. What do you think of the poem?
   a. Excellent  b. Brilliant  c. Awe-inspiring  d. All of the above

Jokes apart, I wish my friend, philosopher, guide and sister Rakhi didi a very happy birthday.
Many thanks for being my pillar of strength and support.


                                           
                                                           Rakhi's Rakhi sent by Rakhi

Sibling Revelries

          It seems like only yesterday Rekha was waiting for me in the school bus, beaming at me, saving a seat for both me and my brother Kundan, though she herself didn’t mind standing. She never had any qualms about handing us over all the toffees that she received from her friends. I always wondered how anyone could be so magnanimous and munificent at the age of nine.

        During our school days, I would reach home, worn out from the bland classes, only to hear her dynamically natter about the events and problems in her class, which made me marvel how anyone’s class could be so interesting, how so many things could happen  in anyone’s class every single day! She has to be the most loquacious person in the family. Although her gossips always managed to keep me amused, there were times when I would just brush her aside by telling her how exasperated I was of her teenybopper tales. That would be enough for her to keep sulking for the rest of the day. Though we hardly used to fight, rubbing her the wrong way always resulted in her tantrums. Being the peacemaker I was, I always made it a point to extend the olive branch to her. We got along like a house on fire, always keeping each other engaged with side-splitting stories and cracking up irrationally. But even when I was not interested, I had no choice but to patiently lend her my ears. 

       I vaguely remember an incident that happened when I was eight. It was a bright Sunday afternoon and Monzy (a nickname given to her by yours truly) was taking a catnap. I was lying lazily on the bed, flipping through a magazine which had a picture of the stunning Madhuri Dixit with her fringed hairdo. Coincidentally, my eyes wandered off to a small pair of scissors lying right next to me on the table. An evil, impish idea struck my mind. After picking up the scissors I moved surreptitiously towards her head, gently pulled out a streak of her mane just above the forehead. CHOP! Rekha opened her eyes slowly, waking up from her profound slumber only to find some of the detached hair lying on her face. She yarely caressed her face, gaped in disbelief at the chopped off curls which were now clutched in her bony hand.

        All hell broke loose! Her metamorphosis into a lioness roaring with ire left a lump in my throat. A teary-eyed, shrill Monzy ran hither and thither, her hand firmly held to the fringes of the hair which almost reached her eyebrows. Parents were fuming. Mother’s eyes filled with repugnance for me and empathy for her daughter. No amount of consoling could stop Rekha from bawling. In the midst of all the chaos, Kundan was sitting in the alcove, smirking and giving me a ‘you-are-in-big-trouble-Mister’ look. My heart was loaded with remorse and despondency, my head was hung in shame for the abominable sin I had committed. I couldn’t look eye to eye with anyone.
          
        After a few hours, when she had seemingly calmed down, I diffidently went up to her; and beseeched her forgiveness. Okay, that’s a lie. After the sunset, she herself decided to call a truce. My heart finally started beating again; I breathed a sigh of relief. It was thwarting for me to look into her face when I realized that fringes go only with straight hair and not with curly hair. She had to wear a particular hair band to school for a few months. I still taunt her whenever I see her snap with that hairdo.

     I don’t know if I could have forgiven someone that easily. That is the best thing about her; she never holds a grudge against someone for long.  Not always was she kind and loving. Her volatile mood swings can sometimes make it really difficult to deal with her. Especially when ever she doesn’t get to have her evening tea, she transforms into a cantankerous beast. She is a neatness freak who starts yelling and yapping at anyone who fails to put things back to where they belong. Whenever I was pissed off with her, I would mess up everything in the room just to drive her bananas. Even though she is almost two years older than me, both her younger brothers made sure she was treated like our younger sibling.
     
                I still love peeving her by imitating her and pulling her leg. She is the best cook in the house. Her magical hands have never refused to make me my favorite Sooji Ka Halwa and Beetroot Pulao with lemon pickles. I realized her value only when I started living alone and had to wash all my clothes by myself.  How I miss watching her grumble while doing the dishes every evening! I and Kundan used to take the pleasure out of mimicking the usual ferocious fights between her and Rakhi regarding the division of the household chores. 

     It’s been almost two years since I last met her. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. It’s inexplicable how grateful I am to her for the unfathomable love she has bestowed upon me.


Thank you, Monz.  Thank you for everything.
Wishing You A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
If I had been with her today, she would have griped about not getting her a present.
PS:  This was in compensation for the gift I have failed to send her this year as well.
I hope I have made up for that.